So basically, I’m a fangirl. I will go see any movie--don’t really give a damn what it’s about--as long as it has one of the following qualities: 1) it was made by a director I like, 2) it has an actor in it that I like (bonus points if there’s multiple favorite actors), 3) it was written by a screenwriter I like, or 4) it was based on a book by an author I like. (It doesn’t matter whether I’ve actually read the book. Yeah, yeah. I know.)
So, Pixels had a lot of strikes against it--it’s CGI-heavy, which I usually hate; it has Adam Sandler, who I absolutely despise; it was written by a screenwriter whose movies I generally don’t like; and the reviews were absolutely terrible, which shouldn’t influence me but it usually does. BUT. It involved Pac-Man (which I absolutely love) and, more importantly, was directed by one of my all-time favorite directors, Chris Columbus. To make matters even more complicated I knew that one of my favorite actors, Peter Dinklage--and if you don’t know who that is, I beg you to go and watch The Station Agent, it is a work of art and your life won’t be complete until you watch it--had a prominent role.
So I decided, what the hell, I’ll see Pixels. Why not? Could be great or awful. I’m just enough of a Columbus fangirl to find out. I only hoped it wouldn’t live up to those awful reviews.
And, to my immense delight, it did not live up to those awful reviews. Not even close.
Okay, I’ll admit, the script is…well, it’s about as good as I expected it to be. It’s choked with a lot of throwaway jokes and heavy with nostalgia about the “good old days” before video games became violent and “realistic.” If you’re like me, and the thought of playing Walking Dead instead of Super Mario makes you want to puke, you’ll like it; if you call everyone who says Pac-Man is better than Call of Duty is a gaming snob, then you probably won’t appreciate it. I tried not to watch it from a political angle, but with all the critics calling it misogynist, it was hard not to. And yet I couldn’t find much in the way of political message here, unless Sandler & Co thought it highly important that we all understand the danger of aliens thinking our video games are a declaration of war. Gotta wonder where all the people who are crying “It’s just like Gamergate!” are coming from, because I sure as hell didn’t get that vibe from the movie at all.
Now, I’ll admit, there are some places where the plot is a stretch. “There’s no career for a gamer.” Really? Uh, okay, could this guy not have designed new video games, opened his own arcade, or if he was really ambitious become a Disney Imagineer? Hell, couldn’t he have made a career of collecting, trading and selling vintage games or game machines, if he really couldn’t think of any other possible game-related career? That part was a stretch to me. Especially given that his BFF, whose childhood claim to fame was stealing quarters from little girls’ lemonade stands, grew up to be the President of the United States. Okay, we’ll just pretend that was in the realm of possibility.
And yet to quibble about realism when the plot of the movie revolves around an alien invasion is kind of pointless, when you think about it. The reasoning behind the entire story of Pixels is soft sci-fi at its finest. We’re not meant to question why the aliens took what was clearly a time capsule and read it as a declaration of war. We’re not meant to question the “light guns” that fight off those aliens. And we’re definitely not meant to question how Dinklage’s character could possibly have used cheat codes in a real-life situation. No, if you’re sitting there marking every continuity error, scientific impossibility and minor anachronism, you are definitely watching Pixels the wrong way. The effects are impressive, the humor is surprisingly clean, and of course Q*bert is about as cute as it’s possible to be. With all of that, it’s fairly easy to overlook the plot holes. Just don’t think about it too hard.
The finest moments of Pixels are when the movie points out its own weirdness. Now, I’ll admit I’m a sucker for self-aware movies--I’m a Mel Brooks fan, what did you expect?--so my favorite parts could be (and, judging from some of the reviews I’ve seen, definitely were) someone else’s biggest irritation. So be it. But I thought the scene where Sam goes over to install Matty’s new TV and ends up drinking wine with Violet in the closet was one of the best in the film. We expect them to kiss and fall in love at first sight because that’s how movies work, but they don’t, and it’s a moment that’s as funny and heartfelt as it is cringe-worthy. Later on, one of the good-guy aliens (you’d have to watch the film to understand) transforms into Lady Lisa, the longtime crush of one of the game nerds. “Am I the only one who’s weirded out by this?” Sam questions, while everyone else goes “Aww.” No, you’re not the only one, Adam Sandler. We’re all a little weirded out right now. But that’s okay, we’re supposed to be.
For all the movie’s flaws, the characterization is damn good. Critics are trashing the film for misogyny, but I personally thought that Violet was very well-written and well-acted. We all remember what I said about perfect female characters, and I am very happy to report that Lieutenant Colonel Violet Van Patten is the absolute opposite of perfect. Physically attractive she may be--and unbelievably smart, to boot--but she too is prone to hissy fits and juvenile snark, just like Sandler’s Sam Brenner. The “nerd team” of video game expert fighters is about as stereotyped as you could expect, from the insecure leader to the weirdo in love with his favorite game character, but somehow the script still manages to make them lovable in their own way. I read a lot about misogyny, lack of female gamers and Gamergate in the reviews, but I have to say I never felt threatened as a female viewer. Yes, I’d have loved to see more women as gamers in the film, but--minor spoiler alert--Violet has enough badass moments to make up for it; after all, she does invent the light guns that are the only defense against the aliens.
So that brings me to the outlandish reaction to Pixels. The accusations of sexism were what really got my goat, because upon watching the movie I found nothing outrageous about it. It all ties back into what I said about the Perfection Curse that we slap onto our female characters and call it “equality” for “strong female characters.” We as a society demand more female representation, and then complain when those characters don’t live up to our expectations. “We want more women in the films!” we cry, and then hastily add, “but if those women aren’t exactly the way we want them, you are sexist and we hate you!” Hence, our reactions to Black Widow, Katniss Everdeen and Violet Van Patten. We demanded them, now we throw them back when they aren’t just what we wanted.
Ladies and gentlemen, don’t take this the wrong way, but give me a freaking break.
I’m not going to say Pixels was fantastic, because it wasn’t. It’s a great “popcorn” movie--the kind you watch with your best friends on a Saturday night or pop into your DVD player when you’re ready for a nice hit of nostalgia--but I won’t defend it as Oscar-worthy or say it changed my entire perspective on Sandler. But I think the reaction to it says a lot about us as a society of movie-watchers. We are ready and waiting to rake anything that doesn’t live up to our exacting expectations through the coals, and then complain that filmmakers don’t “try hard enough.” And to someone who’s primed to go into the film industry…holy shit, that is scary.
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